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World Economy explained.

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downunderpom
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World Economy explained.

Postby downunderpom » Thu Mar 21, 2013 10:48 pm

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.

VENTURE CAPITALISM (A.K.A. Making money via Derivatives)
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has died.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you do not know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
Nobody believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows but at least you are now a Democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive. (This is obviously wrong - the one on the left would need to be a sheep to look attractive!)

AN IRISH CORPORATION
You have two cows
One of them's a horse!

A GREEK / CYPRIOT CORPORATION
You have two cows borrowed from French and German banks.
You eat both of them.
The banks call to collect their milk, but you cannot deliver so you call the IMF.
The IMF loans you two cows.
You eat both of them.
The banks and the IMF call to collect their cows/milk.
You are out getting a haircut.
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Syn
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Re: World Economy explained.

Postby Syn » Wed Mar 27, 2013 9:41 am

Yikes, I think that exceeded my previous understanding of the world economy .
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KiwiKraut
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Re: World Economy explained.

Postby KiwiKraut » Tue Aug 20, 2013 11:59 pm

What does a German Corporation do? LOL.
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ralfy
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Re: World Economy explained.

Postby ralfy » Tue Sep 03, 2013 3:59 pm

The cause is traditional capitalism leading to venture capitalism, resulting in debt, peak oil, and environmental damage (with global warming).
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thecrownsown
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Re: World Economy explained.

Postby thecrownsown » Wed Sep 04, 2013 12:04 pm

ralfy wrote:The cause is traditional capitalism leading to venture capitalism, resulting in debt, peak oil, and environmental damage (with global warming).


Incorrect. It is capatilism, being meddled with by socialists who pervert the system and we end up with propped up economies, and a shaky foundation. And whats worse, it will continue to happen as "socialst states" try and force the market to do what it wants. Looters...what can i say.


As for the OP, hilarious! :) Its nice to see a little fun poked at topics every now and then. :)
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ralfy
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Re: World Economy explained.

Postby ralfy » Wed Sep 04, 2013 3:54 pm

thecrownsown wrote:
Incorrect. It is capatilism, being meddled with by socialists who pervert the system and we end up with propped up economies, and a shaky foundation. And whats worse, it will continue to happen as "socialst states" try and force the market to do what it wants. Looters...what can i say.

As for the OP, hilarious! :) Its nice to see a little fun poked at topics every now and then. :)


The ones who control the global economy are private corporations, especially banks:

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg2 ... world.html

That's why the largest component of credit worldwide is unregulated derivatives, at least a quadrillion dollars in notional value:

http://www.washingtonsblog.com/2012/05/ ... arket.html
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anitapreciouspearl
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Re: World Economy explained.

Postby anitapreciouspearl » Wed Sep 04, 2013 4:23 pm

Love the list. We need to add a Canadian one.

You have two cows...
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Denob
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Re: World Economy explained.

Postby Denob » Wed Sep 04, 2013 4:28 pm

anitapreciouspearl wrote:Love the list. We need to add a Canadian one.

You have two cows...

You sell the milk rights of one of them to a US company, who bottles it and sells it back to you for 10 times what they paid.
You prefer to buy that milk over your own because it has a fancy label and the TV commercials are cool!
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